Iran is Feeling Froggy (I don't mean French either)
Iran warned the world today that it would obliterate Israel if the US did anything evil. This just begs for the Dirty Harry response, "Go ahead, make my day." I know that Ronald (The Great One) Reagan said it too but he was quoting the movie. I started wondering what would happen if we put a carrier battle group in the Persian Gulf (if there isn't one there now) and then started doing things to taunt Iran. What sort of evil would it take? Here are some ideas.
10. We have our crack scientists develop a chemical that could be sprayed onto prayer rugs which would permanently infect them with static electricity. Every time the Iranian leaders would pray, their hair would stand on end for hours at a time.
9. We have teams go around the world and tear all of the "Don't remove this tag" tags off of all of the mattresses in the world.
8. Declare all Mexican citizens to be American citizens - taking away their ability to emigrate. Mexico would become the 51st state.
7. Have super secret agents infiltrate the turban material making factories and treat all of the material for turbans with Nair.
6. Send each Iranian citizen a slinky and remind them that some people are like slinkies. They aren't worth much but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
5. We send Ted Kennedy over as a special advisor on driving at night.
4. Send Nancy Pelosi over to stare at them. And smile.
3. Hijack all of their broadcast TV signals and show reruns of Barney.
2. Surround their government buildings with bagpipers.
1. Send Al Gore over to help with their public relations.
10. We have our crack scientists develop a chemical that could be sprayed onto prayer rugs which would permanently infect them with static electricity. Every time the Iranian leaders would pray, their hair would stand on end for hours at a time.
9. We have teams go around the world and tear all of the "Don't remove this tag" tags off of all of the mattresses in the world.
8. Declare all Mexican citizens to be American citizens - taking away their ability to emigrate. Mexico would become the 51st state.
7. Have super secret agents infiltrate the turban material making factories and treat all of the material for turbans with Nair.
6. Send each Iranian citizen a slinky and remind them that some people are like slinkies. They aren't worth much but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
5. We send Ted Kennedy over as a special advisor on driving at night.
4. Send Nancy Pelosi over to stare at them. And smile.
3. Hijack all of their broadcast TV signals and show reruns of Barney.
2. Surround their government buildings with bagpipers.
1. Send Al Gore over to help with their public relations.
Labels: Fun Stuff
posted by Moneyman at 8:40 AM
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