If Only Democrats Were in Charge
Yesterday Harold Dean screamed that the war in the mideast would never had happened if the Democrats were in charge. His reasoning was that we would have the moral authority of the Clinton administration had we not elected a nasty Republican. Here are some other little known facts about the state of the universe if the Democrats had been in charge for the last six years.
All White House interns would wear no stain navy blue dresses
Osama Bin Laden would have been Time's Man of the Year in 2005
Uday Hussein would have been hailed as a revolutionary motivator as Iraq won the world cup 2006 (or else)
Any person entering the country by any means would have been granted immediate citizenship
To make it easier to figure out who was and who wasn't a citizen, every person in the world would be granted American citizenship
Marvin the Martian would sue for discrimination because he's not from this world
The New York Times would set official foreign policy
The DailyKos would still make up stuff
Rush Limbaugh would be in jail for buying too much aspirin
Cindy Sheehan would be irrelevant
Okay, even more irrelevant
The levies in New Orleans would not have failed
Jenny Craig would be in charge of the White House kitchen
The birds would always sing, the sun would shine, and Bill Clinton would be UN Secretary General
Al Gore would be treasury chairman
Hillary...oh God, I can't even visualize that. Sorry
Child molesters would all receive mandatory 60 day sentences
Alan Combes would still have never won an argument with Sean Hannity
Larry King would wonder what it's like to ask tough questions
Pigs would fly
All White House interns would wear no stain navy blue dresses
Osama Bin Laden would have been Time's Man of the Year in 2005
Uday Hussein would have been hailed as a revolutionary motivator as Iraq won the world cup 2006 (or else)
Any person entering the country by any means would have been granted immediate citizenship
To make it easier to figure out who was and who wasn't a citizen, every person in the world would be granted American citizenship
Marvin the Martian would sue for discrimination because he's not from this world
The New York Times would set official foreign policy
The DailyKos would still make up stuff
Rush Limbaugh would be in jail for buying too much aspirin
Cindy Sheehan would be irrelevant
Okay, even more irrelevant
The levies in New Orleans would not have failed
Jenny Craig would be in charge of the White House kitchen
The birds would always sing, the sun would shine, and Bill Clinton would be UN Secretary General
Al Gore would be treasury chairman
Hillary...oh God, I can't even visualize that. Sorry
Child molesters would all receive mandatory 60 day sentences
Alan Combes would still have never won an argument with Sean Hannity
Larry King would wonder what it's like to ask tough questions
Pigs would fly
Labels: Fun Stuff
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home