More Terrorists Who Suck

I haven't shared anything lately about how the terrorists still suck. That doesn't mean that they've gotten any smarter. Here's a sampling of the latest from Iraq:


Title:
3 TERRORISTS KILLED AFTER EMPLACING IEDs
Release Date:
5/25/2006
Release Number:
06-05-02P
Description:

BAGHDAD, Iraq – Three terrorists found emplacing improvised explosive devices were killed at approximately 3:30 p.m. May 24 near Abu Ghraib just west of Baghdad.

Coalition Forces from 1st Battalion, 1st Marines Regiment, observed three terrorists digging holes and placing IEDs, which positively identified them as terrorists with hostile intent.

Coalition Forces then engaged and killed all three terrorists.
There was no reported damage to Coalition Forces’ personnel or equipment.

FOR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS RELEASE, CONTACT THE MULTI-NATIONAL DIVISION - BAGHDAD PUBLIC AFFAIRS NCO IN CHARGE, MASTER SGT ERIC LOBSINGER AT: eric.lobsinger@mnd-b.army.mil.
Attachments:

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15 Items or Less

For the third day in a row, I managed to get behind a person with several special orders at my local fast food eatery drive through. I know that they were special orders because they shouted them out to the low fidelity speaker/microphone system that must have cost all of $2.99. After reviewing my week, I think that there should be a few rules to using a drive through. Here was my week.

Day 1 - I counted the cars in the drive through (four) and looked at the number of cars in the parking lot and estimated that the drive through would move faster than parking and going in. This is my normal procedure and my limit is five cars if the parking lot is half-full. Cars one and two moved pretty quick and I was congratulating myself when the third car didn't pull up to the cheap speaker right away. This brings me to rule #1 - If you don't know what you want, go inside. They have pretty menus with a lot of pictures that can help you make up your mind. Car #3 finally pulls up to the speaker and asks the order taker to hold on. I guess this was code language for the order taker to go clean the bathrooms or something because it was almost 5 minutes (one commercial break on the Dan Patrick show) before she came back to take the order. Finally we get the order in and car #3 moves on.

Now I figure that the best I can do is break even on time but there is now a car behind me that really likes his music. I know because he is trying to share it with everyone in this area code. That only makes it more difficult to talk to the $2.99 speaker. Car #4 pulls up and immediately starts ordering, GREAT! Oops, the order taker wasn't ready and we had to start over. Now the hard part begins. Apparently the Brady bunch and the Partridge Family were holding a reunion in the van in front of me. They must have all just received their allowances because they wanted to pay for all of the orders separately. Rule #2 - Pay for all of the orders at once and do the math later. I'm glad that Peter and Danny can figure out the change that they should be getting but don't do it in the drive through.

At last I get to order. I order my meal and proceed to the window as Cindy and Tracy get their orange drinks. All in all, 24 minutes and two gallons of gas for a $2.79 meal.

Day 2 - There are 5 cars in the drive through today but the parking lot is full and more cars all pulling in. What is the deal? Is Taco Bell out of cheese? I cut off the Toyota with the kid talking on his cell phone and become #6 in line. It's slow going because it is so busy but that's understandable. Then a crew-cab truck with four construction workers decides that they need to order more once they get to the pay window. Rule #3 - You only get one shot at ordering in the drive through. If you forget something, go to the end of the line. Or better yet, go inside. Finally I get to the cheap speaker thingy and order my double cheeseburger value meal, regular sized, coke with no ice. Rule #4 - whenever possible, order the same thing every time you go to the same restaurant. Your body will thank you for your consistency and digest it because it knows what to expect. The workers will thank you because they know you are dependable. And it speeds up the drive through because you don't have to make any time consuming decisions. Today's drive through time, 22 minutes. About what I would have spent inside but I again lost out on the gas that I used.

Day 3 - As I pull into the parking lot, there is one car in the drive through, the parking lot is 1/3 full and one car is backing out. YES! As I wait for the driver of the car backing out to figure out which pedal is the brake and which one is the accelerator, a van pulls into the drive through ahead of me. As I finally get into the drive through lane, I notice that the van belongs to the Brady/Partridge clans. Nooooo! They set a new record for drive through futility. They manage to break all of the known rules and a few new ones. Apparently, they didn't like what they ordered two days ago and everyone in the van has to try something different. Then one of the young kids, Christopher or Bobby, decided that he doesn't like pickles. I understand the whole "Have it your way" thing but C'mon. Save that for inside orders. Jan, Marcia, and Laurie couldn't decide if they wanted broiled chicken sandwiches or salads and Shirley and Carol didn't seem to care that I was going to need a tanker truck soon. Finally everyone had ordered and they moved to the pickup window. They only had one window open because there were only 3 cars in line. I ordered my usual but detected a slight hesitation from the order taker girl. Uh Oh, new worker alert! Sure enough, as I pulled up to the window, I saw her trainer reaching over her shoulder to point out the buttons on the register to push as she was talking to her boyfriend on her cell phone. They must have made a mistake because they had to wait on the manager to reset the register. Rule #5 - New people should never work the drive through. Then Keith, Danny, Greg, and Peter decided that they wanted shakes. This really confused the new girl and of course everyone had to pay separately.

Finally, 21 minutes later, I got my order and left the drive through. They should post these rules in the parking lot of every fast-food restaurant in the country. Like the grocery store, 15 items or less please. That brings up Rule #6 - Do not have sharp objects within reach as you go through the drive through. Now please excuse me, I'm on the way to the hospital to get this pen out of my eye.

A Must Read

Iowahawk has a guest commentary by Specialist Major Private Jessie MacBeth.

I bow to its perfection.

We are Winning

More good news from Iraq:


Title:
SHEILE SCHOOL-BACK TO SCHOOL IN STYLE
Release Date:
5/22/2006
Release Number:
06-05-02P
Description:
MOSUL, Iraq – A newly constructed school located in the center of Dahuk will provide service to approximately 840 students and 36 teachers.

This new two-story complex consists of a 12-room classroom school with a detached exterior lavatory building, a play-yard and a generator building; all of which is surrounded by a three-meter high perimeter wall.

The exterior and interior walls are of masonry construction with a concrete super structure and terrazzo tile flooring. The exterior wall finishes are cut stone and plaster.

“The architectural design and material selection was made by a local Iraqi engineer in coordination with the Director General of Education and then provided to the Dahuk Residence Office,” said Joshua Adekanbi, Dahuk resident engineer, U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

The DG of Education uses a standard primary school design with the same floor plan. Since the plans are recycled, varied exterior architectural elements are chosen for each school.

This $460,000 project was funded by the Iraqi Relief and Reconstruction Fund and built by a local Iraqi construction company. Of the 317 IRRF-funded school projects in the northern region of Iraq, 315 are complete and two are in progress.

The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers participated as the Contracting and Construction Management and Quality Assurance of the over-all project

Deport Vicente Fox

I know, Vickie Fox has diplomatic immunity. But he has once again taken advantage of our porous borders and is now in Salt Lake City, UT. He is here to promote the Guest Worker Program the White House is calling for.

Although this may be a good thing for Mexico, it is bad for America. As Bill O'Reilly pointed out yesterday, if the estimates of illegal residents from Mexico in America are true, 10% of all Mexican citizens permanently reside in the US. If the program goes through, the illegals will be identified and Vickie can collect taxes on the American dollars that they earn.

This also would encourage more illegal immigration from Mexico, further straining US support systems. This all pales in comparison to vicious own zero tolerance immigration policies. Illegal immigrants in Mexico are routinely caught, held in detention centers overnight (which Vickie asked for 13 new ones) and deported the next day. Once again Vickie is trying to have his cake and eat it too.

I say that Vicente Fox is a threat to the national security of the US. His diplomatic license should be revoked and he should be deported on the next bus going south. At a minimumm the US should immediately authorize a reciprocal immigration law with regards to Mexico. This law should make, as a minimum, it mandatory to observe the more stringent immigration law of the two countries. Just like a reciprocal tax/trade agreement.

Maybe then he would keep his nose out of American business and start keeping his people in his own country.