Who's Next?

This post contains no satire or other jokes. Sadly, it is a commentary on actual events.

Since Iraq is progressing quickly toward a democratic/parliamentary government, it is time that we begin to evaluate who is the next greatest threat to civilization. China? Venezuela? Iran? Kos?

Personally, I'm most concerned about Iran. I believe that Russia, China, and Venezuela are threats to American liberty but Iran is a threat to the whole world. They are quickly progressing toward nuclear weapons. They have made great efforts to stamp out the democratic movement that was growing strong just a couple of years ago. Their president is a homicidal maniac bent on the eradication of the nation of Israel. And now, the government is moving ever-closer to the ideals of Nazi Germany.

The government is decreeing a new dress code for all Iranians. Non-Muslims must wear an identifying stripe, yellow for Jews, red for Christians, and blue for Zoroastrians. This post has taken over an hour to write because I am at a loss for words to describe my incredulity and outrage at this. Will we allow the bluster of a thuggish government to bully the world once again? This bill has been floating through the Iranian parliament for two years! Where is the outrage?

Once again, MSM - American, has been mute on this. European media and the blogs are the only ones talking about it. Our government should lead and not follow the UN. We should immediately call on the world to economically blockade the Iranian terrorists that they call a government. We should not buy their oil, or any other products. We should give them notice to cease and desist their nuclear development or the bombing will start in five minutes.

There are many travesties in the world today. We cannot solve all of them and create a utopian society. However, we can and we must prevent another Holocaust. We must flood our congressmen's offices with calls, letters, and e-mail, demanding action. The border issue pales in comparison to the human rights violations of the Tehran regime. We can fight amongst ourselves but we must unite to destroy tyranny.

We are Winning

I'm going to begin posting verbatim press releases from CENTCOM about how the war in Iraq is going. Here is the first.


Title:
COALITION FORCES RESPOND TO HOSTILE ACTIVITY IN RAMADI
Release Date:
5/18/2006
Release Number:
06-05-01P
Description:
MULTI-NATIONAL FORCE - WEST
PUBLIC AFFAIRS OFFICE
CAMP FALLUJAH, IRAQ

CAMP FALLUJAH, Iraq – Coalition Forces engaged several insurgents near an abandoned train station in southeast Ramadi May 16 in response to repeated hostile activity. It was the seventh day since May 7 that Coalition Forces engaged insurgents in the area.

Troops observed several insurgents moving a weapon from the train station to a vehicle nearby. Coalition Forces engaged the insurgents with artillery, killing several insurgents and destroying the weapon. Troops saw one of the insurgents leave the area with the vehicle.

Later in the day, troops observed several more insurgents with weapons taking positions on a rooftop near the train station. Insurgents are known to use the rooftop to conduct sniper attacks. Coalition Forces engaged the building with grenades and an air-delivered munition, killing some of the insurgents.

Troops saw two remaining insurgents flee into another building, and Coalition forces engaged the building with additional air-delivered munitions, killing the remaining insurgents.

Troops later observed insurgents with weapons moving again at the train station. They engaged the insurgents with artillery, killing the insurgents.

Also on May 16, Iraqi Security Forces searched a mosque in Ramadi and Coalition Forces investigated reports of a destroyed Iraqi Police station near Hit.

Iraqi Army Soldiers found 7.62 mm ammunition and a communications device in the northeast Ramadi mosque, which was not damaged during the search.

In Zuwayyah, about 10 kilometers southeast of Hit, Coalition Forces found that an Iraqi Police station’s roof had collapsed and three walls inside the building had been destroyed in an unexplained explosion. The damage had been reported during a meeting between troops and local civilians.

There were no reports of Coalition or civilian casualties as a result of these incidents.

FOR MORE INFORMATION, CONTACT THE MULTI-NATIONAL FORCES -WEST PUBLIC AFFAIRS OFFICER AT ce_pao_watch_officer@cemnf-Wiraq.usmc.mil

More From Terrorist Who Suck

Truth is much funnier than fiction. I bet that you don't see this one on CNN.

"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."- Attributed to General George Patton Jr

If only...

This just in to Neo Con Eagles Wings. We have received transcripts of the telephone conversation between Presidents Bush and Fox about the border troops. We reprint them here for your information.

Un-named minion: Mr. President, you have a call on line two.

GWB: Who is it?

Minion: I think that it is that guy from Mexico again.

GWB: Ola Vickie

EPVFDQ: Jorge, this is El Presidente Vincente Fox Quesada.

GWB: What can I do for you?

EPVFQ: What’s this that I hear you are staging troops on the border?

GWB: Who told you that? Have you been talking to Nancy Pelosi again?

EPVFQ: No, but have you ever noticed that she kind of has a monkey face? It makes me want to punch her.

GWB: I know. Look Vickie, don’t worry about the troops.

EPVFQ: Do you know what will happen to my economy if you stop the peoples from crossing the border to send their money back here. You will ruin me. I protest.

GWB: Uh Vickie, do you remember where I’m from?

EPVFQ: Yeah. Tejas.

GWB: It's Texas partner. Do you remember that we kicked your butt in 1836?

EPVFQ: That was just luck. Santa Anna made a mistake and Sam Houston got lucky.

GWB: Right, whatever. Do you know what country that I’m president of?

EPVFQ: [sigh] Si` Jorge

GWB: You know that we kicked your butt again in 1848 and your country ceded over all of the area from Texas to California to the United States in the Guadalupe-Hildago Treaty?

EPVFQ: So? What does that have to do with the troops on the border?

GWB: Vickie, I’m not at all concerned with your protest. As of now, the border from Brownsville to Chula Vista is now closed. You had better get ready for your own immigration problem because we are starting a massive search for all illegals and we are sending them home starting tomorrow. An unsecured border is a threat to my nation’s security and I’m going to fix it right now. Oh, and one more thing amigo.

EPVFQ: What's that Jorge?

GWB: Dick wants to know if you can go quail hunting next week?

Don't Blame the 'Gators

Last week, there were three tragic deaths in Florida. It appears that the responsible parties are alligators. All of the victims are women. The attacks have caused an outcry by Floridians and interest nationwide.

While the exact causes for the attacks are not known, it should be obvious to any reasonable person that these women invaded that domain of the alligators and provoked the attacks. "As the weather heats up, the alligators' metabolism increases and they have to eat more," Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Willie Puz said Sunday. "They might be moving more, but that just shouldn't mean increased alligator attacks." This is also the time of year that alligators are on the move more and looking for mates.

Did these women interrupt the ‘gators search for a mate? Or where they simply at the wrong place at the wrong time? It is speculated that millennia of encroachment by humans and the resultant species extinction have caused the animal kingdom to rise up in rebellion. “Humans have done reprehensible things and are responsible in some way” one noted actress opined. “It is important that we examine the root causes of the attacks.”

As authorities began to search for the perpetrators, a spokesman released the following statement: “Although we are certain that these attacks were carried out by alligators, we will not engage in the harmful practice of profiling. We will randomly observe all animals and attempt to verify by x-ray whether or not they may have consumed humans. These alligators are not bad; they are just reacting to humans who have overtaken their habitat. We have forced them to lash out and it is important that we understand their plight.”

To date there have been no more confirmed reports of attacks from within the animal kingdom. There was an unconfirmed report of an ill-tempered sea bass attacking a guard at the Virtucon Inc. facility but no verification has been made. Steve Irwin was unavailable for comment but is rumored to have said, “Crikey!” when informed last night.