If Only Democrats Were in Charge

Yesterday Harold Dean screamed that the war in the mideast would never had happened if the Democrats were in charge. His reasoning was that we would have the moral authority of the Clinton administration had we not elected a nasty Republican. Here are some other little known facts about the state of the universe if the Democrats had been in charge for the last six years.

All White House interns would wear no stain navy blue dresses

Osama Bin Laden would have been Time's Man of the Year in 2005

Uday Hussein would have been hailed as a revolutionary motivator as Iraq won the world cup 2006 (or else)

Any person entering the country by any means would have been granted immediate citizenship

To make it easier to figure out who was and who wasn't a citizen, every person in the world would be granted American citizenship

Marvin the Martian would sue for discrimination because he's not from this world

The New York Times would set official foreign policy

The DailyKos would still make up stuff

Rush Limbaugh would be in jail for buying too much aspirin

Cindy Sheehan would be irrelevant

Okay, even more irrelevant

The levies in New Orleans would not have failed

Jenny Craig would be in charge of the White House kitchen

The birds would always sing, the sun would shine, and Bill Clinton would be UN Secretary General

Al Gore would be treasury chairman

Hillary...oh God, I can't even visualize that. Sorry

Child molesters would all receive mandatory 60 day sentences

Alan Combes would still have never won an argument with Sean Hannity

Larry King would wonder what it's like to ask tough questions

Pigs would fly